I got rid of my vacuum. All it was doing was collecting dust.
Looking to buy chicken broth in bulk? Try the stock market.
No matter how much you push paper, it’ll still be stationery.
It’s hard to explain things to kleptomaniacs. They always take things literally.
To err is human. To blame other people is management.
The past, present, and future walk into a bar. Things were tense.
I stayed up one night wondering where the sun was. Finally, it dawned on me.
I skipped work because of an eye problem. I couldn’t see myself in the office today.
Today I got rid of some dead batteries. I gave them away, free of charge.
Contributed by Joe Bruno