“Take my wife . . . please.” Rodney Dangerfield may have aced the comedy of the wife joke, but others—in all fields—have joined in the fun:
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. George W. Bush
I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. Rudy Giuliani
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it. 2. Whenever you’re right, shut up. Shaquille O’Neal
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. Kobe Bryant
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. David Hasselhoff
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met. Alec Baldwin
To Be Continued . . .
Contributed by Simone