I Never Knew That

5 of the Oldest Jokes in History

For as long as humankind has existed and suffered, we’ve also laughed. Humor—and jokes, specifically—have long been a part of socio-anthropological culture, whether as a way to poke fun at the powerful or just to be plain silly. Even toilet humor, however gross, has often played a significant role in day-to-day life, amusing and shocking listeners with taboo topics. From the earliest days of civilization, laughter has brought people together despite their differences, serving as a tool for both enjoying life and bonding with one another. Here are some of the oldest jokes in history, observations and witticisms that made people laugh thousands of years ago.

The Oldest Recorded Joke

The oldest joke on record dates back to 1900 BCE in ancient Sumer, the earliest known civilization in Mesopotamia. Rather than a conventional setup and punchline structure, the joke is more of an observation: “Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.” The double-negatives throw in a bit of confusion, but the joke gets at a primary urge to hide certain imperfections from a romantic partner.

The First “Walked into a Bar” Joke

The Sumerians are also credited with the first-ever “walked into a bar” joke, dating to around 1983 BCE. It goes: “A dog walks into a bar and says, ‘I cannot see a thing. I’ll open this one.’” Though we’re all familiar with bar jokes—and the odd characters and animals who just so happen to walk into them—no one can quite parse the meaning of this Sumerian joke, or why it was funny. There are amateur theories ranging from the Sumerians appreciating (as we do now) “random humor,” or the dog’s blindness being some kind of pun. Until we have a time machine, it’s likely to remain a mystery.

The First Joke in English

A book of Anglo-Saxon poetry from the 10th century includes what researchers believe could be the first recorded joke in the English language: “What hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole that it’s often poked before?” The punchline? Get your mind out of the gutter: “A key.” A lot of early humor relied on puns and presumed lewdness—the assumption that the answer to a joke would be filthy, only to have the expectation flipped in the punchline. That degree of surprise and awareness of your own assumptions often and still leads to laughter.

An Ancient Joke Book

A fourth-century CE joke book from Greece known as Philogelos (The Laughter-Lover) is the oldest known collection of jokes. The work is credited to two unknown writers, Hierocles and Philagrius, as a series of “jest”witty quips and moments of situational comedy. One example is this joke about a haircut: “Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the witty fellow replied: ‘In silence.’” More than a thousand years later, it’s a sentiment so relatable, it’s likely to bring a smile to your face.

Ancient Stereotypes

Frank observations about men and women—and their relationships—have long made people laugh. Case in point: this ancient Egyptian joke from 30 BCE, which pokes fun at the cost of courtship: “Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey—his purse is what restrains him.” The joke appeared in an ancient papyrus Egyptian text known as the Instruction of Ankhsheshonq. It’s more of a wry instruction (as per the name of the document), found alongside other amusing notes on donkeys, such as: “If a crocodile loves a donkey it puts on a wig.”  That one is more of a thinker, but perhaps it’s getting at the way we change for those we love.

Source: historyfacts.com

In and Around Kendal

The Long View

Photo by Edward Kasinec

For the Birds

Guardians of the Greens, by Edward Kasinec

Swallow, by Carolyn Reiss

They’re Back!

Video by Carolyn Reiss

Beauty by the Hudson

Photo by Martin Smolin

When a Body Meet a Body Coming Through . . . Rockwood Park

The Abramovitz and Carolyn Reiss, all avid photographers, met unexpected on a lovely walk in the park. So what’s a photographer to do:

Carolyn and Allie, by Mimi Abramovitz

Mimi and Bob, by Carolyn Reiss

A Friendly, Summer Rockwood Neighbor

Meanwhile, Inside Kendal

A little miniature donkey (and friend) visited the folks in Adirondack

Photo by Carolyn Reiss

Early One Morning

The Perfect Arc, by Carol Moneteleoni

And at the End of Day

Photo by Philip Monteleoni

Out and About

Recently Kendalites took a trip to Sleepy Hollow/Tarrytown’s Wishing Wall and the Tarrytown Light House (in Sleepy Hollow—go figure). The Wall was a way not only of brightening a construction zone, as the old GM Plant became new residential living, but to bring the town together—including art by Jane Hart and poetry by Anne White.

A brief talk on The Wall by one of its organizers, by Harry Bloomfeld

Poetry by Anne White

Photo by Harry Bloomfeld

Art by Jane Hart

Photo by Harry Bloomfeld

Photo by Harry Bloomfeld

The Wishing Wall, Lighthouse, and Kendalites, by Philip Monteleoni

Learning about the Lighthouse, by Philip Monteleoni

The Sissman Chronicle

That Other Drink!

The majority of Kendal residents usually begin their morning battles with the existential exigencies of life with a jolt of caffeine contained in their beloved mugs of coffee. It is likely that this is true of morning risers throughout the west, but, unexpectedly, statistics show that the volume of coffee consumed around the world each year is exceeded by that of another drink—tea (which contains about half the concentration of caffeine). Tea is second in the quantity drunk around the world only to water.

Here are some facts about tea that I find especially interesting:

  • Tea is made from the leaves of a tropical shrub, Camellia sinenesis, first described in Chinese writings around 200 BCE. It is now widely grown in China, India and Ceylon, as well as a few other equatorial countries. In the spring, buds and tender leaves from these plants are harvested by hand plucking and processed immediately. The method of processing determines the color of the tea. Tea leaves spread out under the sun oxidize rapidly, turning the color of the leave to dark brown; these are the basis of black tea (which actually is mostly amber). If the freshly plucked leaves are immediately steamed, they preserve their natural color and are the source of green tea.

  • The differing tastes of tea are derived from different forms of Camellia, but many of the most unique flavors are introduced by add-ons during processing and by blending the leaved with introduced compounds. One of most widely admired Chinese tea, for example, lapsang souchong, is made by smoking its leaves over burning pine wood. One of the few varieties of tea available our bistro, Earl Gray (an 18th century British politician) gets it flavor from added bergamot.

  • After being processed, tea leaves are macerated. On the old days, they were then pressed into “bricks” for shipping.

  • Around the turn of the 20th century an entrepreneur named Thomas Sullivan invented the tea bag.

  • Tea drinking has spawned a great variety of utensils, from ornate samovars to the most finely decorated china teapots, cups and saucers.

Tea has influenced history in varying ways. Securing a stable source of tea may have been one of the motivations for the British occupation and rule over India during much of the 19th century. All Americans are familiar with the dumping of a load of tea from a British ship in Boson harbor as one of the preludes to the American Revolution.

Over the years, tea drinking has given rise to rituals. Here are brief descriptions of two of the most notable of these:

Japanese tea drinking was formalized to the smallest detail centuries ago. It takes place in a small tea house called a sukia. Participants must pass through a garden on their way to the sukia. The room is decorated by scrolls and paintings.

A small meal is served followed by three rounds of Macha, a green tea that is brewed in a kettle on a charcoal stove sunk into the ground. The tea must be drunk holding a handleless cup with both hands. The tea drinking is followed by a period of contemplation of the beauty ad fragility of life, Tea masters had to train for years before they could lead these ceremonies. Needless to say, modern life with its demands on time and work has drastically reduced the frequency and attendance at these ceremonies.

Another notable ritual for drinking tea is the British Afternoon Tea (what Americans call “High Tea”). Begun in the 17th century it became not just a tradition but a way of life: a sign of good taste and conviviality. Queen Victoria’s afternoon teas helped codify it. Traditionally afternoon tea is accompanied by small cucumber, tomato, egg or watercress sandwiches.

Throughout World War II, King George VI took tea with his family every day, an important contributor to the British spirit of resistance during the siege of Nazi bombing.

Norman J. Sissman

In and Around Kendal

Conspiracy Theories Alert: Bears Are Now Using Camouflage!

Clearly a bear in green disguise—captured, luckily, by Bob Abramovitz.

Alida Garden Bounty

Photo by Edward Kasinec

The Grass Is Always Greener . . . Proof Positive

Photo by Hildegarde Gray

Snoozing in the Shade: Who Wouldn’t?

Photo by Edward Kasinec

Rockwood Hall Glories, Grand and Mini

The Great Lawn

Wild Whites

Photos by Edward Kasinec

Out and About at Pinkster

The annual Pinkster festival takes place in spring. The name is a variation of the Dutch word Pinksteren, meaning “Pentecost.” Pinkster in English refers to the festivals held by the Black populations of New York and New Jersey, particularly in the early 19th century. To the Dutch, Pinkster was a religious holiday, a chance to rest, gather, and celebrate Christian sacraments such as baptisms and confirmations. It also had a long tradition as a day of dance and merriment. For enslaved people, Pinkster was a time free from work, a chance to gather with family and friends. Over the centuries, Pinkster grew into a multifaceted celebration of African culture, featuring music, dance, drumming, storytelling and foodways that enabled enslaved and free Black Americans to reclaim their heritage and served as a form of joyful resistance against oppression.

Since the 1970s, New York has made efforts to resurrect Pinkster. Our own Sleepy Hollow Philipsburg Manor restoration has celebrated Pinkster since 1977. It’s the only true Pinkster recreation in North America. Every spring, it recreates an authentic celebration of Pinkster in North America, combining both Dutch and African traditions. For guests of all ages, Djembes and Dance—which includes a recreation of a colonial Pinkster festival—is a delightful and instructive experience. The occasion recognizes both slavery's tyranny in New York and its final defeat.

And this year, Ruth Dinowitz and Harry and Marianne Bloomfeld joined in the fun! 

Traditional instruments (with some modern help)

With song and story-telling

Preparations for celebrating Pinkster

And the happy results!