Signs of Appreciation

Video by Maria Harris

Maria did this show of some of the signs on people’s doors on her floor. To watch it, click on the white triangle on the lower left. What’s on your floor?

For Language Fans

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The following were winners in a New York Magazine contest in which contestants were to take a well-known expression in a foreign language, change a single letter, and provide a definition for the new expression:

HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS? - Can you drive a French motorcycle?

EX POST FUCTO - Lost In the mail.

IDIOS AMIGOS - We're wild and crazy guys!

VENI, VIPI, VICI — I came, I'm a very Important person, I conquered.

COGITO EGGO SUM - I think; therefore I am a waffle.

RIGOR MORRIS - The cat is dead.

RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID - Honk If you're Scottish.

QUE SERA SERF - Life Is feudal.

LE ROI EST MORT. JIVE LE ROI - The king Is dead. No kidding.

POSH MORTEM - Death styles of the rich and famous.

PRO BOZO PUBLICO - Support your local clown.

MONAGE A TROIS - I am three years old.

FELIX NAVIDAD - Our cat has a boat.

HASTE CUISINE - Fast French food.

VENI, VIDI, VICE - I came, I saw, I partied.

QUIP PRO QUO - A fast retort.

ALOHA OY — Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you should never know.

MAZEL TON - tons of luck.

APRES MOE LE DELUGE - Larry and Curly got wet.

Thanks to Arthur Brady for sending them.


One-Liners from Phelps’ Ellen Woods

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Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom

PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone.

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.

So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.

Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.

Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under.